PORCELAIN BOY

you waited on very patiently for your next move and i was too unwilling and still so goddamn hopeful to see that you acted in cold blood - in my mind i had already pictured a way to save someone that never wanted to be saved

because to be saved would mean to lose - to be saved meant to truly feel the pain to be saved meant to be betrayed and abandoned by the one you loved left to die alone in shame and in silence out in the snow - to be saved meant for this to be your ultimate reality for the rest of eternity - would anyone really want to be saved knowing all this? is this really the salvation?

all i could see was the familiar wariness and the void in your eyes - that flicker of something that could not live - and walking the street beside me you pulled your hood up disturbed by this odd magnetism terrified of all that could never happen to that poor shrunken heart of yours

 i moved my skin against yours caressing you with my cheeks rubbing against this very familiar bone of your nose just a couple of breaths away from the very familiar shape of your widening mouth