TASTE IN MUSIC

i searched in vain for anything that would ease the pain - the calming indie sounds terrified me the purity of piano&violin melodies intensified the sense of guilt the careless club dancing gave spasms to my stomach none of it was anywhere near soothing - then there was the dull bass combined with the violence of the screeching guitar and the voice with the heroin breath - still nowhere near soothing only a kind of toxic mud that seemed to go well with what i was in that moment with who i was all along eagerly i plonged my face in it knowing well the only solution for this - i needed to turn into a living dead

i took a hammer and banged on the leftovers of my hardly built and well-kept well-being i yearned to turn all the rays of light into poor shreds leave them vallowing in the shadow - it was never destined for me to live in the light