life is all about the habits
getting rid of my habit to be alone seems to be the toughest one - i feel excessively sick and anxious whenever i'm deprived of my own company for too many days in a row after all this time being alone is like a placenta to me i can't seem to be able to breathe without being safely wrapped up in it
i have become disgusted by people to a point of no return - i deafen myself with silence after hearing all their words i rub the forced smiles away from my cheeks when i'm alone i rinse my mouth out after the kisses
and i'm not able to tell if all this i felt was ruled by my near-death experiences or if it was the constantly present fear all along
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